The Right Decision

I am a 31 year-old woman, I got married when I was 22 from a relative of mine, and I was married for seven years, during which I had a son and a daughter. A month after I gave birth to my daughter, I was exposed to all kinds of violence from my husband. The first incident was when I asked him very calmly if I can go stay the night at my parents’ since he wouldn’t let me visit them for more than half an hour at a time and only with him present. He wouldn’t let me communicate with them at all. As for my request, he didn’t just refuse it, but he started calling me and my family names, and he took my mobile phone and broke it. After that he called my father, who was surprised by the yelling, and he threatened to hurt him if he came to visit me. He proceeded to attack me while my daughter was in my arms; he pushed me violently, then beat me and locked me and my daughter in the bedroom. My daughter was crying from hunger, and I kept calling him all night asking him to open the door just so I can go prepare her some milk, but he refused. We stayed like this until noon the next day, when my parents came to visit my in-laws to inquire about my husband’s behavior and strange phone call he had made to my father. My father-in-law was surprised as he didn’t know of what had happened. He went and got the keys to the house and to the room I was in from his son, and when he opened the door and saw me and my daughter and the state that we were in he was shocked. I had bruises all over my face and arms. He started begging me not to tell any of my parents of what happened, and he promised that he will solve this issue with my husband, assure my parents that nothing is wrong, and ask my husband to apologize to them and to myself.

My silence about that first incident of violence caused things to escalate as my husband started repeatedly abusing me verbally and physically. He also hit me in front of my children a few times, and then things became worse to the point where he would beat me in front of his parents and relatives; young and old. After that it reached the point where he hit me and called me names in the street in front of people. I threatened my husband more than once that if he doesn’t treat me with respect I would walk out of his life and take his children away, he would get scared and apologize. But then he would do it all over again, and then apologize. Life remained like this for a while, between ebb and flow.

I endured a lot for a few years, until I got sick and tired of the situation. The last straw for me was an argument that ended up in him hitting me in front of our children again, and I asked him to take me to my parents’ house. He did that and tried to call me several times to bring me back, but I refused. I had taken my decision to never go back to that life that I was living with my children. I made up my mind, and asked for a divorce.

After a long battle in the courts and long and tiresome procedures, I finally got my divorce. From there I drew a new map for my life ahead with my children. Thankfully, my decision to get a divorce was the best one that I had ever made in my life, and here I am today happy with the result that I got after the difficult experience that I went through with my children. I had even forgotten that period of my life, and went on to complete my university studies and make use of any opportunity that came my way in order to build myself and my future. All I care about now is the future of my children and myself, and I won’t let anyone on this planet take away my dignity or my humanity and that of my children.

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Filed under Awareness Raising & Capacity Building, General

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